.bmp) |
| Illustration for "ALEXANDRA AND THE TOYMAKER OF OLD YORK." Created by the author. Copyright © 2011-2025 Stephen J. Williams. |
EPISODE: 036
Concept date: 12th March 2022
Angel-in-charge: Margret
Team Assigned: Team 74
Revisions: 5 [last revised May 2023] Version: Final.
Next episode: "Alexandra and the naughty nuns of Nuremburg."
Previous episode: "Alexandra and the Vikings."
Status: COMPLETE & PUBLISHED.
Mission Reference: 9 - 452333 - 3 – 1963
.bmp)
SMOKING - ALCOHOL USE - VIOLENCE [INCLUDING SEXUAL VIOLENCE & BDSM] - STRONG LANGUAGE - GRAPHIC HARD SEX REFERENCES INCLUDING PROSTITUTION AND DIVERSE SEXUAL PRACTISES - DRUG REFERENCES - ANTI-RELIGIOUS SENTIMENTS AND OPINIONS - HUMAN TRAFFICKING - COMMENTS AND BEHAVIOUR THAT MAY OFFEND SOME PEOPLE BUT WERE CONSIDERED 'NORMAL' IN THE TIME PERIOD. |
IF YOU ARE BELIEVE YOU MAY BE OFFENDED BY ANYTHING CONTAINED IN THIS WRITTEN WORK, THEN DON'T READ IT AND CLOSE THE PAGE! CAUTION: “THIS EPISODE COULD CONTAIN VERY STRONG LANGUAGE, VIOLENCE [including sexual violence] HORROR AND GRAPHIC, STRONG SEXUAL REFERENCES. RECOMMENDED suitable for persons aged 18+ years only.”  |
This is an Extended episode has an average reading time of approximately 90 minutes.
This story can be found in "The adventures of Alexandra: Series 4" which can be obtained from 'Amazon.com' and all good bookshops!
 |
| "Go to 'Books' and type in 'The adventures of Alexandra'. |
The little roadside café was packed yet strangely subdued as Alice came through the door and brushed the light snow from her woollen hat and coat. No-one turned to see her walk slowly to an empty table and sit down. Everyone was gathered around the radio on the counter; it was the BBC weather report for the area. It was predicting snow – lots of it – and low temperatures. Alice sat back and pulled her notebook from her coat pocket; “Another bloody thing to remember, check the damn pipes!” she scribbled the note down and underlined it. A burst pipe wouldn’t be the best start to residing in her new home.
The unsmiling waitress appeared and handed her a menu, telling Alice the steak pie was off, it had all sold out, but the Shepherd’s pie was good. Alice nodded and asked for that and a cup of tea. The waitress stuck her pencil behind an ear and wandered off. Alice stared out the big window and watched the lightly falling snow, then noticed she was being smiled at by two young labourers at the next table. Both smoking like chimney’s and discussing football and ‘birds’. [at the time, slang for a young desirable woman or girl] She couldn’t make out their quiet conversation, but she knew that she was part of it. That didn’t surprise her: nature had blessed her with an hourglass figure, pretty face and long blond hair. That was matched by her stunning blue eyes. Oh yes, the boy’s knew a real ‘classy bird’ when they saw one. She ignored them.
The waitress placed a cup of tea down, then a plate with Shepherd’s pie, carrots and peas. From her apron she produced a knife and fork, then without a word headed back to the counter. Knowing she was being watched by the indiscrete ‘football’ lads, Alice ate slowly and flicked through her big notebook, checking the seemingly endless list of tasks ahead. She had been overjoyed at the solicitors letters and subsequent visits to his London office. Overnight – on the death of her great uncle Jerome – she had gone from a dingy rented flat in Brixton, to a country house in North Yorkshire. The surprise at the legacy had been genuine, she had never met her generous great uncle and couldn’t even remember her late parents talking about him. She looked at the café’s door and watched as the big man came in, shaking snow from his hat. Through the window she could see the Morris Minor ‘panda’ parked by the entrance. The young policeman had certainly caught her eye. He was a strapping handsome man with dark wavy hair and deep dark eyes. Any woman would call him handsome and desirable. He looked really good in his uniform too.
The waitress looked up from the counter and really smiled; “Squeeze yourself in anywhere Tony. Is it your usual?” The big man nodded and pulled off his gloves. He walked over and sat at the small table, right next to Alice. She smiled as the ‘football’ lads turned away and picked up their papers, their conversation now conducted almost in whispers. Alice could smell his gorgeous aftershave and with a sly sideways glance, his large hands being rubbed together. She almost blushed when he smiled at her, catching her taking a peek at him. The waitress appeared and placed down two pieces of toast and a cup of tea. She seemed to hesitate before speaking, “How you holding up Tony? I mean just asking how you’re getting on….you know after….after Carol.” The young policeman managed a smile and nodded; “I’m OK Doris, thanks for asking. Life rolls on and you just have to go with it.” The waitress nodded and gripped her apron, “Well if there’s anything I can do…you know, help. Just let me know.” Tony nodded and said, “Thanks Doris, I will.” He lifted his teacup and took a sip.
He smiled at Alice, “So, your moving in today, Miss Albright?” Alice almost dropped her knife and fork in surprise and Tony chuckled, “I know because we’ve been keeping an eye on the old place. Mr. Hedges [Alice’s solicitor in York] informed us you’ll be moving up here today. Your car is absolutely packed with luggage, and it has a London plate, so I made a guess it was you. There are no tourists arriving up here in this weather.”
Alice placed her knife and fork down and smiled; “Well, your correct in your deductions Sherlock Homes, That’s my car and I’m Alice Albright!” The young copper chuckled and gestured out the window, “Be careful crossing Hobbs Moor and make sure you stay on the main road. In this weather, and there’s more to come, you could get stuck very easily and few people go near Crotchlee House, even in fine weather.”
Alice nodded, then a little intrigued, asked why people would avoid the old house. The policeman didn’t smile, “Of course, you’re not from around here, so you wouldn’t know.” Alice leaned forward and asked, ‘what should she know’. The policeman leaned towards her and dropped his voice; “I hope you’re not the nervous kind Miss Albright, but I’m afraid that Crotchlee House had a bit of a reputation for strange goings on.” Alice was now really intrigued and asked what sort of ‘goings on’.
Tony sipped his tea and almost smiled, “Well, since it was built in the 1690’s so I believe, all sorts of strange things have happened up there. Back before the war [1939 – 1945] there were several reports of a couple of ghosts haunting the place. A crying child and a young woman. Then way back last century, a maid was found murdered in the attics. Then there was your great Uncle’s death. That’s still being looked at by CID from York City. But I expect Mr. Hedges has told you all about that.” Alice ran a hand over her face and stared at her food; her appetite was gone. But shook her head and asked if he knew what happened to her great uncle. Tony placed his cup down and didn’t smile. “Blimey, I would have thought old Hedges would have least told you that the old man was murdered.”
Alice picked up her teacup and took a couple of sips, her throat had suddenly become quite dry. “Murdered?” she said quietly and quickly added; “They have caught the murderer? I mean your people do have him…or her in custody, don’t you?” Tony shook his head, “No, and when your told the details you’ll understand why.” Alice finished her tea and already desperately wanted another or something bloody stronger!
“Why haven’t they caught anyone officer?” she asked, now a little nervous. Tony clasped his hands together and lowered his voice and Alice moved her chair closer to him. “The old man had called us a couple of times in the two weeks leading up to his death. Said that strange things were happening around the house. Things being moved around. The strangest and I really do remember this one, was that he got up and went to the bathroom in the early hours and when he returned his bed it had been made! Can you believe that: a ghost who makes your bed. He told Mark Fuller [the desk sergeant] he wouldn’t ever sleep in the damn thing again. So, he started to sleep downstairs in the living room in a big chair by the fire. He had the Grey Brothers [local builders] come up and fit locks to the living room and he practically lived in just that one room and that’s the real problem about his death. A real problem indeed.”
Alice took a deep breath; “What – exactly – was the problem?”
Tony picked up his empty teacup and placed it back down. “When no-one heard from him and the John the postman couldn’t get an answer, two lads from the nick broke in and I mean they had to use a sledgehammer to take down the reinforced living room door. The Gray brothers had done a superb job on his security. I mean they had screwed down the windows and everything like that. But on the floor, by the big bay window lay your poor old uncle with his head stove in. Someone had brutally battered the poor old soul to death. But of course, it was impossible because the door’s the only way in the room, the windows were screwed down and untouched and there is no outside lock on the door, it can only be locked from the inside. CID even had the chimney checked – in case the killer was really small – and found it full of undisturbed soot. So how the hell – if you pardon my French – did the killer batter the old man and escape from a sealed room?” He held up his cup and shouted for Doris to bring a couple more teas. Alice sat back in her chair, her mind was reeling. Great Uncle Jerome had been brutally murdered and the killer apparently disappeared from a locked room!
Doris brought over fresh tea and took away Alice’s plate and dirty cutlery. Alice really appreciated the hot cup of tea now. Tony tapped his cup with a single finger and looked a little puzzled; “If that’s not really strange, or frankly impossible, then there’s the ruddy – if you pardon my French again – automaton sitting in the old man’s chair. Now that’s really weird. Why did he have her in the room with him?”
Alice stared at him; “Automaton? That’s a Victorian toy, isn’t it? And she?” Tony smiled; “A Life-size Victorian toy, as you say, that’s made up to look like an 18th century lady. Apparently, it tells your fortune by writing on bits of paper when you drop a penny into its slot. It’s certainly worth a few bob, so that may be why he moved it into the living room. You know, if he thought there were burglars targeting the old house. But it’s still strange if you ask me.”
Alice finished her tea and stared out at the falling snow. Tony tapped her shoulder and told her to stay on the main road crossing Hobbs Moor and she should leave now, while it’s still light. “You really don’t want to be driving across the moor in the dark and in weather like this. People have literally vanished in that place, and I mean just vanished. So, take real good care.”
Doris interrupted the pair by shouting at Tony that he was wanted on the phone. It was the nick and she chuckled and said they certainly knew where to find him! Tony rose and smiled at Alice; “I’ll try and stop by. Make sure you arrived OK and settled in.” Alice thanked him for that and all what he had told her. She would be certainly having words with Mr. Hedges. She watched the young policeman depart after his phone call and asked to use the phone herself. She needed to call Dave and Jeanie.
2. HOBBS MOOR, NORTH YORKSHIRE, 20th November 1963.
Alice
paid for her meal and tea’s, thanking Doris for the use of the phone to call her
best friends – Dave and Jeanie – who she promised to call when she arrived in
North Turning. Her and they had just graduated from London university, with Alice
now holding a degree in Classical History. Dave was now looking for teaching post
in English and Jeanie held her degree in Social Studies: she had already
applied to several councils for a post in Social Services.
Alice had put her career choices on hold – temporarily - until she sorted her inheritance out. She didn’t have immediate financial problems after receiving almost a thousand pounds from her late great uncle’s will. Being his sole beneficiary had shocked her somewhat: she had never met the man and her late parents had never spoken of him, not once, if her memory served her correctly. With her head swimming with the tale imparted by the handsome young copper, especially the gruesome and mysterious manner of the old man’s death, Alice braved the fresh snow and slipped into her car, which thankfully started immediately. She pulled from the little car park and headed for Hobbs Moor: Crotchlee House lay on the edge of the wild place in splendid isolation, with the nearest neighbour [a certain John Humble who was a retired sea captain apparently] some four miles away. It took several minutes to reach the sign that indicated the Moor Road and Alice stopped and stared at the sign as the windscreen wipers slowly brushed snow away. Someone had crudely painted across it ‘Hell’s Highway!’.
She turned onto the Moor Road and cussed under her breath, night had already fallen, but a big full moon had appeared and so, Alice Albright headed across the wild and desolate moor, now covered in snow with more arriving. It was indeed a barren, and if the young copper was right, dangerous place to be, even in fine weather. The road seemed to rise, and she noted the ‘snow-poles’ erected every half mile to indicate the depth. The snow only looked about a foot up the poles and now a little nervous, she gripped the wheel and switched on the radio. It was just static, no matter how she turned the dial. Cursing some more, she spun the dial and looked up, back through the windscreen. The dark figure bounced off her bonnet and rolled out of sight. Screaming now, Alice skidded as she applied the brakes and rolled to a stop, slapping against a ‘snow-pole’ which snapped and came down on her car, causing the windscreen to shatter and snapping off a wiper. She sat breathing heavily and managed to calm herself. She checked her mirrors and finally turned to see nothing behind her, just more snow coming down. Swearing like a Liverpool docker pissed on a Saturday night, she pushed open the door and stepped out, shouting into the snow flurries and creeping darkness. Nothing or no-one answered, just the wind. She walked back a couple of yards and stared about. Then she realised – with gathering horror - that the snow lay undisturbed apart from her tyre tracks which zig-zagged wildly, finishing behind her car, whose bonnet was buried below the ‘snow-pole’ which was now half its original size. Showing real composure, Alice checked both sides of the road and found no-one, but again, the snow on both sides of the road lay undisturbed by animal or human feet. Shaking now a little from the cold and a great deal from fear and shock, she jumped back in the car and pushed the door lock button down, finding her hands were trembling.
She didn’t even know if she had struck a man or an animal. Alice kept looking around as she tried to start the car which simply refused to start. Now crying softly, she frantically turned the ignition key several time and only received a grinding noise in return. The engine wouldn’t start, and she slumped back in her seat and stared about again. The snow was now coming down in big flurries and the windscreen was already covered, as was the back window. “What the fuck happened to him….or it?” She asked herself several times and wrapped her arms around herself: the inside of the car was now growing really cold. Alice wiped away the tears and tried to think about survival in cold weather. She desperately tried to remember her ‘Girl Guide’ lesson about surviving in the snow and cursed herself for not paying attention. Then she remembered her suitcases and one contained a couple of winter coats and maybe, a thicker woolly hat. She scrambled into the backseat and managed to open one, pulling a long ‘ladies trench’ coat from it. That would cover her legs and lower body. She found a big pullover and soon had that on under her coat, but the best find was in her ‘overnight’ bag: two ‘Mars’ bars and two packets of plain crisps. [They had a little blue bag of salt inside, ready salted crisps were not yet popular!]
Alice was now back in the front seat, wrapped up and clutching her meagre provisions. She shuddered a little, the wind now was howling around the cold useless car and clouds – full of snow – had snuffed out the bright moon. She was really tired having driven up from London and found herself dozing. She rubbed her hands and slowly turned and stared out the side window. She sat bolt upright and gasped a little: across the moor, maybe several hundred yards away where several figures standing in the snow. Now actually shaking, she just sat and stared at them. She really couldn’t make out if they were bears or humans, or something else! They appeared to be wrapped in furs, with the animals head still attached and they just stood there, motionless, like scarecrows from some old ‘Hammer’ horror film. She couldn’t stop the scream coming and let it out at full blast. That made the young woman outside her window jump a little, but still smiled, shouting, “Are you alright? Sorry, If I scared you, but we thought you needed help!” Still shaking Alice just stared past her to an empty barren moor: the figures – if they did exist – were gone or had been part of her dream or nightmare. Alice was out of the car and embracing the woman like a long-lost mother.
Alex guided the sobbing Alice towards the big jeep which had Jericho standing by the open passenger door shouting, “Come on! Get in here and warm up! You look frozen.” Alice had composed herself and gripped Alex’s arm, she almost ran to the strange vehicle – strange to her – which had the exhaust pipe, fixed upright at the rear with a little cap that lifted and fell. Divij – behind the steering wheel – muttered, “I don’t know how you managed to get the angel to authorize this. It’s a rare event, I’ll give you that.” Owen in the rear just chuckled, “Come on sarge, you know the angel has a soft spot for our mad Inspector!”
A very relieved Alice slid in next to him and was joined by Alex who slowly closed the door and smiled, “She was asleep, and I think I woke her in the middle of a bad dream.” Alice nodded, feeling the warmth, creeping through her. She managed to blurt out about the strange accident and the figures in furs and where she was going and why. Divij turned and gestured to Owen’s bag, “Best break out the flask, we all could so with some hot coffee. I bet our guest does!”
Alice accepted a cup of hot coffee from the smiling young man and sipped it: it was the best coffee she had ever tasted, to her it was Nectar. Owen fumbled in his thick coat and produced a hipflask saying, “Whisky?” And Alice nodded vigorously, saying ‘thank you’ a couple of times. He handed mugs to the others and topped theirs up with some whisky, well, except Divij of course, who still didn’t drink alcohol. Jericho smiled at Alice, “That was bleeding lucky, I mean we asked the nice lady in the café which was the quickest road to Crotchlee House and she said take the Moor Road and look out for a lone young woman in an old car!” Alice sipped her coffee and realised what the young man had said, she gripped her cup, “Your heading to Crotchlee House? That’s incredible, I just inherited the bloody place!” Jericho rubbed his chin and said softly, “Inherited it? We were on our way to see Mister Jerome Albright, he’s alright, isn’t he?” Knowing full well that the old man was long dead, but their cover story had to be played out. Alice blurted out the story of her surprise inheritance, meeting the young policeman who told her about the dreadful murder, then the accident and finally the dream.
Jericho sat back and sighed, “That’s a bit of bad luck, you see, your great uncle Jerome had a few problems with the house, and he spoke to the local vicar – Father Gordon Kite – who referred him to the Church’s investigation team. They put him in contact with us. But that was a few weeks ago, we were on another case, so, we only set off today. I’m sorry for your loss Miss Albright and I must ask, do you wish us to continue and start the investigating?”
Alice gulped down some more hot coffee and a little puzzled, asked if they were private investigators. Jericho smiled and handed over his card, “Professor Jericho Tibbs of Rutland University and these fine people are my team. We investigate supernatural and paranormal incidents, we’re authorised by the Holy Roman Church, the Anglian Church, the Jewish and Muslim Councils and most local councils to look into strange incidents that can’t be explained by the police. Colloquially – and I hate the term – we’re known as ‘Ghostbusters!”
Owen had to giggle at that and received a dirty look from Divij who just sighed. Alice just stared at him and managed to say, stuttering a little; “Supernatural? I don’t understand, did my great uncle have problems with a bloody ghost?” Alex gripped her arm and smiled, “Apparently your late great uncle had some real problems in the house with restless spirits, probably a poltergeist. It was moving things around and all sorts!”
Alice groaned, “Ghosts, poltergeists….what the bloody hell have I inherited!” Jericho gave her a reassuring smile and said quietly, “Don’t worry Miss Albright, may I call you Alice? That’s what we’re here for.” She just stared at each one in turn and sighed.
Owen
pulled his coat around and buttoned it up, “I’ll get your luggage.” He said and
stepped out, walking quickly to the car with Alice shouting ‘Thank you!” after him.
He puled open the rear door and grabbed the suitcases and stared about the
moor, their mirrors had already warned the temporal detectives about several
lost souls that inhabited the place. He walked back to the jeep, glancing about,
but the snow had hidden the uncollected dead from sight.
Alice agreed that the team should take a look at the house and cautiously asked how much it would cost. Jericho now smiled, “That’s the best bit Alice, our services are free! The university pay us anyway, so we don’t charge, but some grateful clients drop us a tip. Usually bloody whisky or brandy! The rest of the team should arrive tomorrow. The snow shouldn’t stop them, they’re driving an ex-army lorry that can get through anything. They’ll bring our equipment. All you have to do, is put up with our company for a few days and nights.”
She smiled at that, really smiled. She would welcome their company if they just escaped from the local loony bin! Owen placed her luggage in the rear and climbed back in, staring back at the car. The police would find the vagrants body stuffed under the engine when they remove the vehicle, but his soul had already been collected and processed, jumping – hopefully – to a much better and fulfilled life. He smiled at the relieved looking Alice, having her coffee cup topped up by Alex. The old man had desperately tried to stop the car, he was freezing to death and knew it. But Alice was too busy trying to find some music or a weather report to see him in time. That was how life goes sometimes: today was his ‘Dispatch’ date and he would have died, no matter what he did to try and stay alive.
Divij pulled away and headed for Crotchlee House, thinking he would be a lot happier when the rest of the ‘team’ turned up. This mission could go either way: be quick and easy or hard and bloody dangerous!
3. CROTCHLEE HOUSE, NORTH TURNING, YORKSHIRE, 21st November 1963. [PART 1]
Alice slipped from her bed and held her head, it ached a little and she put it down to the whisky she had consumed with her guests: the bloody ghostbusters! But they had been fantastic [and really welcome] company in the creepy old house. She ran a bath and soaked for a good twenty minutes before dressing warmly, fixing what little make-up she wore and headed down to the kitchen. She could smell cooking! She found young Owen frying eggs and bacon and he grinned, gesturing to the dining room table, “Grab a seat, I bet you slept well and don’t worry, Alex put you to bed!” Alice just smiled and sat down, groaning a little inside, she had fallen asleep and had to be put to bed? She again blamed the whisky.
Owen handed her two pieces of toast and the butter tray. She poured some tea from the big black pot that hid under a bright red cosy and sat back. “The others are already up, we started in the attic’s and the professor thinks he’s onto something already. But it’s that incredible workshop that has him excited. Says there’s old toys there worth a fortune. Did your uncle collect old fashioned toys?” Alice muttered she didn’t know, she had never met the man or really, knew anything about him. She didn’t even know that there was a bloody workshop in the house or grounds. She didn’t notice that revelation really interested the young man who stuck his head through the kitchen door and shouted, “It’s up!” He grinned, “I mean the breakfast Alice, I would never call a lovely young lady like you an it!” That made her chuckle and feel better, and she liked this cheerful, polite, and frankly, charming young man.
Alex was first through the door and accepted a plate of scrambled eggs on toast and sat down. Alice said good morning and was about to thank her for assistance last night, but Alex asked if she could accompany her, when she looked around her new home. Alice readily agreed to that, she really didn’t fancy wandering around the place alone. Jericho and Divij came through the door, comparing notes about what they had discovered so far. They sat down in front of their plates and Owen joined them at the table. Jericho picked up his knife and fork and smiled at Alice, “Your friend will probably be late up. He arrived quite late and was shocked to find us mad ‘Ghostbusters’ here! He was lucky that young farmer towed him in with his tractor, he would have probably frozen to death in that car, stuck on the moor last night. According to the radio, it was bloody minus eighteen!”
Now Alice really did smile, Dave was here! She now relaxed and enjoyed her toast and hot cup of tea. She casually asked Jericho how the investigation was going, knowing that it had just started. He smiled again, “Good. It’s good. We think you have at least three spirits or lost souls as we call them. It’s early, but we believe one is a woman and one is a man, they seem to be related to each other and the child ghost who’s hanging around the attics. But we’ll deal with that!” he tucked into his bacon and eggs, complimenting Owen on his cooking.
Alice was a little shocked at his words, about the woman and child ghost, remembering what the young – and very handsome – policeman had said: ‘Back before the war [1939 – 1945] there were several reports of a couple of ghosts haunting the place. A crying child and a young woman.’ She sipped her tea and said nothing, thinking that these people were really the real thing!
There was a very happy reunion of the former students before lunch and together they explored the house whilst the ‘ghostbusters’ continued their examination of the house and outbuildings. Which meant Alex was required and so Alice & Dave found themselves in the old workshop, amongst an astounding and quite large collection of Victorian/Edwardian arcade and circus machines.Dave found a class case with a wonderful Arab doll dressed in a colourful magicians costume. Smiling, she inserted a penny [this was before decimal currency was introduced in 1970 and so the coins were still a mix dating back to early Victorian times!] The magician doll was just head and shoulders, but the eyes rolled, and the head turned with a hand dropping a small card into a box. The card appeared in a slot and Dave grabbed it up, reading what it said out loud, “A LIFE SHORT AND SWEET, SO FEW TEARS.” He grunted, a little disappointed and they moved onto a paramania of a seaside town’s harbour. Alice inserted a coin and the ships moved about and the lighthouse came to life with quite a powerful light. The clock towner’s doors opened, and a monk appeared, followed by a knight on his horse, then the ‘grim reaper’, complete with scythe, A little dwarf trailed behind and they all disappeared back inside. They liked that one.
Then Dave called them over to the magnificent full-sized doll known as ‘Sophie’. “She’s bloody gorgeous, what a piece of craftsmanship!” Alice declared and Dave couldn’t disagree. They watched as the Automaton started and it’s head turned as if staring at Alice and her right hand started to write on the sheets of paper before her. Then it stopped and Alice stared at the paper and showed it to Dave who read it out loud; “ON THE MORROW. THE AMERICAN KING WILL DIE. LOOK TO HIS HEIR. THREE NAMES DID NOT KILL. THEY DID. THEY DID. ON THE MORROW.” Alice didn’t smile: “America doesn’t have a King, just that young man who only just won the presidency. So, who the hell is three names and they?” Dave shrugged his shoulders and picked up the second sheet and read that out loud too: “ A GOLDEN AGE ENDS IN FLAMES. TIED DOWN. SEVEN SCORE LESS SEVEN GONE.” They both looked at each other and Alice murmured: “What Golden age ends in flames? What does it mean?”
Dave didn’t know and he collected both pages together and Alice took them; “I’ll put them in the bureau, and we won’t wind Sophie up again!” Dave smiled; “You mean you won’t wind her up again, don’t you?” Alice stared at him, hesitating for a second or two, “I didn’t wind her up, you did!” Dave shook his head; “I certainly didn’t, there’s only us two in here, Jeanie hasn’t arrived yet and none of the bloody ghostbusters are in here! and I didn’t drop a coin in, so it was you.” Alice just stared at him, then realised he wasn’t joking or playing about. “But I didn’t put a coin in, I don’t have any penny’s left….” Alice said quietly and they stared at the machine and slowly backed away, walking to the door. “I think a whisky would help.” Was all Dave managed to say and Alice agreed with him, clutching the two sheets of paper with Dave pushing an arm through hers. “It must be faulty, perhaps you should get someone to look at it. After all, it must be worth serious money, especially if you get it fixed.” Dave reasoned and they headed back to the big lounge room.
Dave found the local newspaper and smiled, “Here you go Alice, a certain establishment in York city – in the old part of the city, Cripplegate Mews – a gentleman called Alexander Grimwade fixes antique toys, specializing in Automatons!” Alice nodded, sitting on the sofa, wondering how much it would cost to get the damn thing working properly again. She had already decided to sell the complete collection and maybe this toymaker would be seriously interested. She jumped up, asking Dave to pour some drinks, and headed for the phone, clutching the newspaper. Oh yes, Mr. Grimwade was very interested in her late great-uncles collection and would try and get there tomorrow, weather allowing of course.
Jericho and Alex lowered their mirrors and smiled at the little boy sitting on the last step of the attic stairs. He wiped his nose with his shirt sleeve and gestured up them. “He did it up there. Me and mum. I shut me eyes and it hurt, worse than when I fell out of my swing. I told him it was hurting but he didn’t stop.” He tugged open the collar of his shirt and showed them his pale skin. The marks of the murderous strangulation – of course – were no longer there. Alex and Jericho exchanged a glance and Alex gently asked why he and his mum didn’t go with the nice lady into the light. The boy sniffed and stared back up the stairs, saying quietly, “He wouldn’t let us.” Alex asked him if he wanted to go now and he slowly nodded, “Only with me mum.”
Jericho said quietly, “When James [a knight of God] arrives this afternoon, we’ll get him to gather them up and send them on. I’m hoping Collections send Herbie, he’s great with reluctant souls.” Alex nodded at that; Herbie the Collector was probably one of the departments best, he certainly had a way with the newly dead! Alex asked little William where his mum was and he pointed up the stairs, “Hiding.” Was all the boy said. She asked him where his father was and he shrugged his little shoulders, “Dunno…and I don’t want to know.” He replied folding his arms and staring back up the stairs.
“Come on, this will have to wait until James arrives. We can’t go up against a poltergeist without at least a Guardian, so James will do nicely. Let’s hope the murdering bastard behaves himself until then.” Jericho said quietly and they both heard Divij calling softly so they walked quickly to the lower hallway and found him unsmiling, holding out his hand. They both stared at the little orb with small streaks of red covering its circumference. “Shit! A Tier Three demon has been here. What the hell has it been up too now?” Jericho said with real concern in his voice. Alex sighed, “I hope James gets here sooner than later.” Both Divij and Jericho said ‘Amen’ to that.
There was aloud knocking at the front door and Alice ran to open it, being joined by Alex. It was young Tony the policeman and he had ridden up on a huge horse! He smiled and rubbed his hands together, being invited in immediately by Alice. Alex – smiling – whispered in her ear, “Now he could arrest me any day of the week, even if I hadn’t done anything wrong!” Closing the door, Alice whispered back, “Ditto!”
“I borrowed Samson from old farmer Rowe, funny that in the 20th century, only bloody horses can get through the snow while all the modern cars are knackered!” He smiled and was shown into the lounge, where Dave shook his hand and sipped his whisky. He offered Alex one and that was accepted [no surprise there!] They gathered in the lounge and chatted, with Jericho and Divij joining them which made Tony laugh, “I thought I’d check up on you Miss, you know, being alone up here in the old house, snowed in and find you have a football crowd for company!” But he was fascinated by the unexpected ‘ghostbusters’ and especially Alex [no surprise there either!] Strangely enough, it didn’t ruffle Alice’s feathers despite fancying him herself.
Dave was an excellent host with someone else’s whisky and kept everyone’s glass topped up until Owen appeared, resplendent in a big white apron and announced that the curry was up. There was a rush to the kitchen followed by a slow walk to the dining room, clutching plates of chicken curry and rice. “He’s a bloody good cook, I think I’ll marry him and chain him to the stove.” Alice confided to Alex and they both laughed.
James arrived just after lunch – but Owen had saved him some curry, so he was happy – parking the seven-ton ex-army lorry outside the workshop on the snow-covered gravel and was introduced to Alice, Dave and Tony. Alex saw the look on Alice’s face and smiled. “I think James will have that effect on a lot of women.” She whispered to Owen who wasn’t surprised and said so. James had a been a big handsome rugged man alive and now ten times that as a Knight of God. But Jericho pulled him away from Alice’s & Alex’s obvious attentions and they spoke together in the hallway.
“It’s ‘Gaps’, he’s a Tier Three who causes more mischief than devilment , a right little nuisance but the Dark Prince favours him because he’s funny – in a dark way of course – and you know his sense of humour [the prince] and I really don’t think he killed the old man. That’s really not his style. Frighten the poor old bugger maybe, but not stove his head in with a spade or hammer. Besides it had to be a tier One or two to steal the soul.” James said quietly, enjoying the whisky and the company: especially Alex’s, adding, “That’s more like….Kiri or maybe Yukon but I can’t detect their presence at the moment.”
The pair headed up the stairs and to the attics to find two lost souls. The third, the evil murdering husband and father, now a poltergeist, couldn’t be found. But Herbie appeared as summoned and with James help, persuaded the boy and his nervous mother [who had been battered and strangled by her homicidal husband] to join him in the light. They vanished much to Jericho’s relief and he re-joined the impromptu party downstairs, simply nodding to the other team members, discreetly holding up two fingers.
“Two down and one angry poltergeist to go.” Owen whispered to Alex who smiled and chatted with Tony who informed her that it was soon his birthday and her, and her friends would be invited to his party, if they wished. Alex left her reply to that open, the mission may be long over before that occasion happens: regretfully, she loved a good party! It was clear and obvious to Alex that Tony fancied her and he whispered in her ear by the kitchen door, telling her his address and she should pop round for a drink or something. Alex dourly pointed out that she thought he was after Alice and he just smiled and said softly; "Girls like Alice are for marrying and having kids by, but a woman like you is for fun and pleasure and by that little smile on your face, I know I've read you like a book. Probably like the bleeding Kama-sutra!"
Now Alex had to smile at those comments: she knew this young man was right of course! "I'll pop around and give you a little present my dear." She murmured softly and boy, did Tony smile.
Alice had to smile when Owen appeared with a crate of bottles taken from the lorry. “These ghostbusters certainly like their spirits, especially the one’s that come in bottles!” She confided to Tony and Dave who both laughed out loud but agreed with her. Tony – very reluctantly – had to go, he couldn’t leave Samson standing out in the cold and said his farewells, taking time with Alice and Alex, it should be noted. The girls stood and watched as the young man galloped away down the drive, “Like a bloody good knight in blue.” Alice whispered and Alex knew that the young woman was more than smitten with the charming young copper, and she could understand why: totally. But she turned and smiled at James who was in conversation with Dave and said quietly, “Yes, but I know a real bloody knight!” to herself. Then thought of a real good present that most young man could only dream of.
4. No.17, VICTORIA STREET, NORTH TURNING, YORKSHIRE, 22nd November 1963. [Part 1.]
Alex checked the road and saw there was no traffic, just several cars parked covered with snow. So she closed the curtains and switched on the gas fire and set it for ‘low’. Owen placed the cardboard box down and had to laugh – again. “So he’s up the pub with two mates from his old college and he should be back in about twenty minutes. Walking in this snow should make that timing just about right since the pub is only four streets away.” He turned to see Alex was already undressing. He laughed again, “Jesus Alex, this should be the best birthday present he will ever get…..well, apart from a new car perhaps.”
Alex stuck up a single finger but smiled, “NO, this will be the best present ever!” Owen held open his big bag and Alex piled her clothes in and now naked, wrapped her arms about herself. “That bloody gas fire isn’t much good. I’ve had more heat from a match head.” Owen zipped up the bag and slung it over his shoulder, “Well, when he see’s his present it will soon – hopefully – warm up in here.”
She checked her mirror and handed it to Owen who slipped it into his pocket. “I’ll be freezing my balls off in that damn old van, parked around the back while your having fun. It will be the longest two hours of my life.” He groaned at the prospect of siting in the cold old van while Alex gets her brains fucked out. But that’s what friends are for!
Alex unwrapped her ‘costume’ and slipped it over her head and tied the thin string around her back. “Dah! Dah!” She said and did a little twirl. Owen just nodded and threw her a small pair of matching red panties. “They’ll help keep you warm.” He said quietly and Alex giggled and pulled them on. “What do you think” She asked him, and Owen rubbed his chin. What could he say? Alex was basically wearing a large red bow and a tiny pair of red panties and nothing else. She looked stunning. He sighed, “If I was getting a present like that, I’d have a bloody birthday every day!” The pair laughed together, and Alex stepped into the big box and curled up. She just fitted. “Christ, I’m amazed, there was room for your big tits and arse after all.” He spoke quietly as he closed the lid and fixed another big red bow to it. Alex pushed the lid a couple of times to make sure she could spring out, like a naked jack-in-the-box.
Owen gave the box a tap and headed through the kitchen and out the back door. The icy weather made him pull his coat about and he climbed over the small garden fence and pulled open the van door. He sat in the back and checked his mirror: no urgent messages. Rummaging in his big bag, he found a couple bags of crisps and a ‘Mars’ bar. He had to smile about Alex, “Boy, when she wants someone she likes to fuck her, she doesn’t mess about telling them!” He said to himself, adding, “Lucky bastard.” He switched his mirror to music and enjoyed some 1960’s pop being broadcast by a 'Pirate Radio Station' which was a specially converted ship out on the North Sea, the station was called 'Radio Caroline': the ship was well away from British territorial waters it should be acknowledged since it was practically illegal.
[NOTE: Radio Caroline was unlicensed by any government for most of its early life, it was a pirate radio station that never became illegal as such due to operating outside any national jurisdiction, although after the "Marine & Broadcasting (Offences) Act 1967" it became illegal for a British subject to associate with it. Pirate radio soon led to the creation of BBC 'Radio One' which played 'Pop' music for the younger generation, replacing BBC 'Light' programmes.]
Alex could hear the front door opening and Tony talking about how bleeding cold it was. She giggled, “Well, if this don’t warm you darling then nothing bloody will!” She heard the lounge door open, and the light was switched on. “Showtime!” She said quietly and leapt to her feet shouting, “Happy Birthday Tony darling!” And jumped from the box and did a twirl, then curtsied.
Tony stood open mouthed, still gripping his housekeys and bottle of beer. His two mates, Mike and Steve also stood with their mouths open, and Steve actually dropped his beer bottle on the floor in shock. Alex stared at the three men and placed her hands on her hips and shock her head, “You brought your mates home from the pub. Damn, I never thought of that. Thank God I have panties on.” She then shrugged her shoulders and jumped from the box, walking up to Tony and kissing his lips said “Happy birthday Tony. I take it you won’t open your present in front of your friends?”
They all started laughing and Mike shook his head and grinned, slapping the still shocked Tony on the back, “Mate, if I was ever given a birthday present like that, I wouldn’t hang about opening the bloody thing!” Steve picked up his bottle and nodded his agreement with Mike’s statement “Neither bleeding would I!” He said and took a swig. Tony, now recovered from the wonderful shock, slapped his bottle and keys on the little table by the door and pulled Alex to him. “Well, my dirty little girl, I won’t take your advice and will open my damn present now!” He tugged at the bow, and it fell away, exposing Alex’s firm big breasts fully. Her large dark nipples were standing to attention in the cold room, and he cupped one tit and kissed it, popping the nipple into his mouth. Alex was a little shocked, she thought he would ‘open’ his present in bloody private!
Mike chuckled, “It’s my bloody birthday in three weeks’ time and I bet that my girlfriend will only give me some bloody socks and pants.” Steve laughed, “Yeah, I know what you mean, my missus’s idea of a sexy birthday present was buying me a pin-up calendar of Hollywood starlets. And then covering their tits with black tape before handing it over. At least this tart knows how to do things properly for a man. You’re a lucky bastard Tony, no mistake.”
Tony gripped Alex’s bum and nodded, “Well, I’m not going to marry this one – couldn’t bloody trust her around other men – so I think we could all enjoy my birthday. If she’s game.” He squeezed Alex’s arse and grinned. Alex stood hands on hips and sighed. Then looked at Mike and Steve: they were both big men [like Tony] and quite handsome. Tony was right about not trusting her around men!
“What about it my dirty, sexy little trollop. Can you handle three horny men?” Tony asked, squeezing her bum cheeks quite hard. Alex placed her hands on his shoulders and the pair kissed. She leaned to his ear and whispered before kissing it. Tony gave her bum a hard slap and smiled at his two friends. “You two will owe me big time for this, but what happens here, stays here. Do you Understand?” Both his mates nodded vigorously and started to pull off their coats and didn’t stop there, as Tony and Alex French kissed. “Now this could be bloody interesting.” Alex whispered to herself and grinned.
Tony went first - well, it was his bloody birthday present after all! - fucking Alex on all fours on the carpet before the now lit fire, while she sucked Steve's more than adequate cock. Mike stood jerking his big cock in real anticipation of his share of Tony's 'present'. Tony thrusted deep and gripped Alex's quivering bum cheeks with both hands. He inserted a couple of thick fingers into her open anus and smiled at Mike, then mentioned that he kept a jar of Vaseline in the kitchen cupboard - by the aspirin - and that his 'present' could handle three at once! Mike suddenly realised what his good friend was saying and disappeared in a flash, returning, holding up the little jar like the Olympic torch. "Who goes first with the brown honey hole?" He said, grinning.
Tony took the jar - still thrusting - and set about moistening her 'brown honey hole'. Then carefully withdrew from her dripping fanny and pushed his big cock slowly and gently into her yielding and willing butt hole. Despite a mouthful of throbbing cock, Alex managed to groan quite loudly as Mike slipped under her and shoved his big cock into her open vagina and took possession of her huge swinging tits with both hands and his mouth. He trusted upwards as Tony pushed down, now thoroughly enjoying his unexpected present, which could indeed handle three cocks at the same time. And it should be said, with some skill and delight.
All four participants in this impromptu orgy were now groaning and panting, thrusting and sucking. Alex had her first orgasm, actually pulling Steve's cock from her mouth to groan and moan loudly before pushing it straight back in. Tony, now gripping her shoulders and pushing deep and fast into her anus was the first to come and he cussed loudly as he filled her back passage with his hot cum in big spurts. He lay over her, gasping and grinning. Mike was next and pulled Alex down with both hands on her tits and shot his urgent load into her. Steve finally couldn't hold it any longer and poured his cum into her eager mouth and was absolutely delighted to see Alex swallow down every drop he pumped out.
They lay huddled together on the carpet and shared a bottle of beer between themselves until Alex grabbed hold of Tony's cock and started to suck like a vacuum cleaner on steroids: she was really sexually aroused and demanded more! The boys - happily - took the hint and the fucking resumed with them changing positions. Alex sat on Steve, facing Mike and Tony with Steve now buried in her open arse while Mike fucked her mouth, gripping her head with one hand. Tony finished the beer and pushed his cock back into Alex's fanny and fucked her hard and fast, which she enjoyed and that produced another orgasm for her. They fucked for another twenty minutes before the boys emptied their balls a second time into Alex.
As they lay about the floor, recovering from their carnal exertions, Tony raised an empty beer bottle and said loudly, "Gentleman, that was the best fucking birthday present a man could get!" The other two smiling men could not disagree with that!
Alex - giggling - announced that she wanted to do a special toast to the joys of sex and Mike handed her a whisky glass and the men watched with open mouths as she placed the glass against her open vagina soon as Tony pulled out, quickly gathering the fresh cum that poured forth. Then Steve slipped his cock from her gaping arsehole and squatting she held the glass close to her butt hole, catching what oozed out. Mike groaned but smiled; she had already consumed his cum by keeping his twitching spurting cock in her mouth and enjoyed every drop he gave her. With a big smile and a little wave of the glass, she knocked her 'cum cocktail' back in one hit and followed it down with some whisky, poured by a laughing and disgusted Tony. Alex chuckled and told the boys to follow her to the small bathroom where she promptly squatted over the toilet and pissed like a horse, receiving several cheers then climbed into the old bath and held both arms up, telling them that they should relieve themselves on the 'dirty little toilet whore' and without hesitation they did!
Owen snapped open his eyes and sat up, turning the music off and watched as Alex - wrapped in an old blanket - made her way to the van, looking about but grinning broadly. He pushed open the side door and she slipped in. "Fuck girl! What the fuck have you been doing? You smell like a Dock side whore that's fallen into a pub urinal!" Alex settled down and couldn't stop smiling; "I don't know who got the best present; young Tony or bloody me!" Owen just shook his head and started the van as Alex started to recount her latest adventure.
5. MIDNIGHT IN THE HOUSE OF GOOD AND EVIL.
Alice woke from her troubled sleep and lifted the big alarm clock and saw it was almost midnight, so she settled back down and tried to sleep, but couldn’t, tossing and turning for a few minutes until she heard the old grandfather clock chiming quietly downstairs. “I’ve tried counting bloody sheep….” She muttered to herself as the clock struck twelve. Then Alice Albright sat bolt upright, unless she had miscounted, the damn clock had just chimed thirteen times! She eased herself from the bed and felt compelled to walk to the big window and pull the curtains back a little. She stared out into the moonlit darkness and bright snow-covered landscape. Then really gripped the dull brown curtain and breathed deeply a couple of times.
Standing several hundred yards from the house, the ancient fur covered figures were slowly moving about, then they all stopped, as if realizing they were being watched. Every head turned towards the silent dark house and Alice released the curtain and stood back. “Sweet fucking Jesus!” She was talking to no-one with real fear and wrapped her arms about herself: the room had gone icy cold, and she ran back to bed, crawling under the covers and gripping a pillow, hearing her own heart beating and taking deep breaths to calm her imagination. That’s when she heard the creaking noise, like the doors on the big cupboard by the fireplace was opening. She gripped the pillow tightly and tried to take control of her shaking body. That’s when the wardrobe doors slammed shut like a pistol shot and Alice screamed the house down.
Alex and Owen were first in the room and found Alice sobbing under the covers of her bed. Alex went straight to her while Owen stared around the room, being joined by Jericho and they exchanged a knowing glance, “Bloody Gaps.” Was all Jericho said. The room was in total disarray, clothes strewn about the floor, drawers pulled open and thrown to the floor and even the big Victorian armchair by the fire was upside down. Alice, now gripping Alex tightly, took one look at the mess and screamed again. Alex stroked her hair and whispered into her ear, which seemed to calm her down and Alex walked the shaking young woman to her room, “I think it’s best if she stays with me tonight.” Strangely enough, Alice didn’t object and clung to Alex like she was drowning, and Alex was a lifebelt!
When the girls had departed, Jericho checked his mirror and sighed, “Yep, bloody Gaps is up to his old tricks again.” Owen tapped his mirror and walked to the window, pulling the curtain back and stared out, “Several lost souls from the Stone-age seem really interested in the house….or young Alice, maybe.” Jericho nodded, his mirror had picked them up too. They quickly pushed their mirrors away as Dave arrived, followed by James who whispered to Jericho that Gaps had gone: he could no longer feel his presence. But he was getting an overwhelming sense of evil: the bloody poltergeist was around somewhere. Dave – utterly shocked and a little afraid – was asking Owen about the mess and Alice screaming. He seemed a lot happier when Owen told him that Alice would be bunking in with Alex for the rest of the night. “Little wonder her poor uncle moved downstairs to sleep.” He said quietly and Owen nodded his agreement. But James suddenly headed for the door, saying to Jericho, “He’s here!” Dave was about to follow when Owen gripped his arm and almost smiled, “I think it’s best left to the experts Dave, it could be quite unpleasant if it’s the damn poltergeist.” Dave was about to pull away, then – again – looked about the room. “I think you could be right Owen.” He said softly, wiping his face and pulling his pyjama trousers up a little, with a trembling hand.
Divij appeared and said quietly, “There’s something going on in the old workshop. Come on Owen.” A very reluctant Dave followed, not out of any curiosity, but he really didn’t want to be alone anywhere in this damn house. They headed downstairs, only stopping to pull on coats and boots, then crossed the icy snow-covered yard to the big brick shed. The lights were on, and they could hear all sorts of strange noises emanating from the place. Dave was trembling openly, and couldn’t believe how calm his companions were, but thought, ‘Well they must be use to this kind of crazy stuff.’ He certainly wasn’t and admitted his fear openly. Owen gave his arm a reassuring pat and Divij pushed the door open, and they stumbled in.
The wind-up Edwardian train set was hurdling around its tracks, like it was turbo powered. The big jester puppet was dancing on the spot, his strings dangling down and around his feet. It jingled and waved it’s stick in the air which almost made Dave faint. He gripped Owen’s arm and cussed loudly in sheer disbelieve at what he was witnessing. Six large wooden soldiers, painted bright red with black bearskin hats, were parading, marching slowly in single file along the stone floor. Divij stared about, clutching his mirror tightly in his coat pocket and spotted the Victorian dancing bear in its glass cabinet, complete with straw boater. It was no longer dancing but showing it’s fangs and growling loudly. It’s brown fur seemed to shimmer and move as it slammed it’s large head against the glass. On the second try, the glass shattered, and the bear leapt from the cabinet which tipped onto its side. They watched in utter horror – especially Dave, who simply fell to the floor in a dead faint – as it appeared to swell and grow before their eyes. “We need James.” Was all an incredibly calm Divij said as Owen used his mirror on the beast. It had no effect, the ‘bear’ wasn’t actually a living creature. It rose up, standing on both feet which seemed to double its size and come forward, slowly and if it wasn’t a Victorian mechanical bear, now ‘alive’, then Owen would have sworn it was smiling. And not in a happy way. He actually said a little ‘thank you prayer’ as James and Jericho came running thought the door, with James transforming into his silver armour and now clutched his broadsword with both hands, yelling, “Get out boys! It’s bloody Kiri, the bastard!” [Kiri is a very powerful Tier One demon, he and James have clashed several times, with the current score in James favour at four to two.]
Jericho and Divij grabbed Dave who was staggering to his feet, Jericho shouting with some urgency, “Get him the fuck outa of here, that bastard [Kiri] is after his soul!” Owen kicked open the door and Dave was dragged into the courtyard, still totally confused about what was going on: had he really just seen a knight in shining silver armour squaring up to a huge bear in a fucking hat? He didn’t think much more, James had stopped human time which was quite usual for such clashes between good and evil.
Jericho stood operating his mirror, he was calling Operational Control to send a back-up knight in case this went wrong. The only two undefeated Knights of God was Arthur, who was acknowledged as ‘God’s Champion’ and the mysterious ‘Golden Knight’ who nobody had actually seen in human form but had about half of Arthur’s victories. Who he had been, when living, was an afterlife mystery, but normally most temporal detectives were just so happy to see him, when they really needed a knight, to bother asking about his identity!
The windows smashed and the ground trembled a little as the battle in the old workshop commenced, the pair going head-to-head for the seventh time and as usual, no quarter would be given. Alex, clutching her dressing gown around her short nightdress appeared, knowing something serious was happening if time had been stopped. Owen gestured to his mirror, “They’re sending another knight because demon Ingress reports another Tier One in this vicinity: Yukon. So, James was right when he said that he felt their presence around here.” Alex stared at the workshop which was bathed in vivid red, orange, silver and white lights listening to the pair clashing inside. Then they all turned to the courtyard’s old metal gate which slammed open, and another knight strolled in, his sword casually thrown over his shoulder. It was Daniel, who wore red and silver armour. He raised his visor and smiled, “Evening everyone, how’s our boy James doing?”
They didn’t answer because James came through the broken window and crashed on the gravel, cursing, he picked up his sword and shouted, “Hi Danny, how’s tricks?” Then jumped straight back through the window. Danny just nodded, “Yeah, he’s doing Ok.” Alex and Owen just stared at each other as Danny smiled and leaned on his sword, making no attempt to interfere: yet. The bear came through the window, rolled in the snow, and stood, adjusting his straw boater hat, then turned to Danny and growled, “Hi Danny you prick!” Danny replied, “Hi Kiri you old bastard.” Then the bear leapt back through the window. Owen smiled at Alex who stood with her mouth open, “Sort of friendly buggers, aren’t they?” Alex could only nod. Then everyone noticed the eerie silence, and all turned to the workshop where James appeared at the window and smiled, “He’s called it a day. But I’m not happy about this one, you could call it a hollow victory.” Jericho just sighed with relief, “Any fucking victory suits me.”
Owen [of course!] had to ask why it was hollow. James just shrugged his shoulders and smiled a little, “Well, I cheated a little. Used the old, ‘Oh fuck! What the hell is that behind you!’ and he sort of fell for it, knowing that Knights of God never lie. Well, not often.” Everyone just stared at each other until they heard Danny chuckle, “Yeah, I’ve used that trick myself. Old Kiri can be a right dumb bastard sometimes.” And pulled James through the window, still laughing softly.
Kiri, nursing a sore head, stood before his master the Dark Prince and complained about James, explaining how he tricked him by shouting that something horrible was behind him [Kiri] and then slapped him over the head with his sword, when he turned around to see what it was. Kiri held up the totally crushed straw boater as evidence. “It’s not fair boss, bloody Knights of God aren’t supposed to lie!” The Dark prince ran a hand over his face and sighed loudly, saying nothing for a full minute. Then said slowly, “Kiri, you are a Class One demon, you ARE supposed to be the worst horror there is! So, what the hell did you think was behind you? A group of nuns singing fucking ‘Ava Maria’ or a schoolgirl with a big nasty handbag? You great pile of crap, what the hell could be worse than a fucking demon? And of course, the bloody knights lie! They were human once.” The Dark Prince slumped back on his golden throne [an exact replica of his brothers: God. Yes, the 'Dark Prince' did have a bit of an ego....] and really couldn’t add to what he just said. Kiri stood silently for a minute then held up the straw boater and said quietly, “I can’t forgive him for this….I really loved this hat.”
The Dark Prince groaned and held his head in his hands. Kiri may be a dumb demon, but he knew when it was time to run. Quickly.
6. ‘GAPS’ AND THE POLTERGIEST.
Jericho gestured to Dave, “Divij and Owen, get him upstairs and put him to bed. He’ll think he dreamed all this.” Then turned to Alex and shook his head, “Because I’m a man, I won’t complain too much, but you could have at least worn damn panties with that nightdress.” They all turned as Alex wrapped her dressing gown around and just smiled. “That’s the first time I heard a man moan about me having no panties on. Now that must be a first.” Laughing softly, the team headed back into the house, leaving the Knights chatting together, leaned on their swords with their visors up. For dedicated men of God, their ongoing conversation was mainly about Alex and her lack of underwear. Not that they were complaining……
The house settled down and Dave woke with a start about 3am, confused a little about his strange dream, “A Knight in shining armour and a fucking big bear in a straw hat?” He groaned and slipped from the bed to use the toilet, grabbing his little rubber torch and headed for the bathroom at the end of the landing. Still half asleep, he wandered down the gloomy corridor, passing underneath the big naked man clinging to the ceiling like a spider. “Evening mate.” Dave muttered, then stopped and shone his torch up. The man, who’s face resembled a gargoyle of Notre Dame cathedral just grinned in reply. It crept along the ceiling and hung over him, now showing it's teeth. The torch fell from Dave’s hand and bounced onto his foot causing him to shout in surprise and a little pain. The poltergeist dropped in front of him and said loudly, “Come to daddy darling!” Dave didn’t because he was running down the stairs, screaming at the top of his voice, followed by the poltergeist, running like a strange dog and yes, it was barking loudly. Loud enough to wake James and the team who appeared from their bedrooms with Owen, not happy that his sleep was disturbed yet again by screaming in the middle of the damn night, muttering, ”Why didn’t the damn dog go for a piss before we turned in.” Then said nothing apart from “Oh Fuck!” as the poltergeist/dog rushed past, growling.
It was followed by James and Jericho who were shouting, “Get the bastard before he disappears!” Owen just folded his arms, being joined by Divij who was yawning. “Not this side of hell freezing over, that’s definitely a James only call.” He said and Divij wiped his eyes and nodded, muttering simply, “Ditto.”
Alex joined them with a confused looking Alice clinging to her arm. “What’s up?” Alex asked them and Owen shrugged his shoulders, yawning, “That bloody poltergeist has turned into some kind of man dog and is chasing poor Dave around. I think it wants to chew him like a rubber bone. James is on his tail.” Then Owen laughed, “Get it? On his tail, its turned into a bloody dog…”
He
stopped and stared, Alex only had on the revealing nightdress and clearly hadn’t
listened to Jericho’s advice. Then looked at Alice in her small pyjama top [he
really smiled] who also hadn’t taken Jericho’s advice – if he had given her any
– and then Owen wondered what had happened to the bottoms. She was wearing them
earlier.
Divij just slapped his arm and gestured down the stairs and surprisingly didn’t comment except to say, “Bloody women.” The pair headed down the stairs slowly and the girls returned to their room, with Alice smiling and saying, “I wish the fuck I would wake up, this bloody nightmare is getting on my tits.” Alex just patted her arm, “Yes sweetie, nightmares can be a right pain sometimes.” And closed the bedroom door quietly.
The girls were snuggled down under the covers, their hands slowly caressing each other with Alice - a little nervous - whispering that she hadn't indulged in such sex with another woman, since her college days. Alex gently took hold of her face with one hand and guided her lips to hers. Slowly their tongues said hello and the passion exploded between the pair with Alex taking control which Alice didn't mind one little bit. After some minutes of passionate kissing with hands exploring each other's bodies, Alex slipped between Alice's legs and found a tight, shaven haven of joy. Her mouth and tongue explored it with some skill and happy determination, which already made Alice groan with delight. Now Alex employed her darting gentle fingers and Alice reacted with some serious moaning, gripping the sheets with both hands, especially when Alex hit her spot and Alice's vagina became open and wet, almost pulsating with pleasure. The young woman had an orgasm immediately which delighted Alex and spurred her on. Her mouth and tongue worked that soaking wet and gaping hole with real unbridled passion, making Alice's body jerk and twitch.
Now it was Alice's turn and she went to work on Alex's fanny with some delight, really getting stuck into her task with nibble fingers and probing tongue. Alex really appreciated the effort Alice was putting in and groaned a little, massaging her big tits with both hands, squeezing the soft mounds and pinching the large rock hard nipples with some strength. The girls explored each other for a few minutes before their mouths came together and the passion re-exploded. It appears both girls loved French kissing: especially with another girl it would seem! They 'scissored' for some time, both panting and sweating openly now, kissing passionately and rubbing crotches together with some force, fingers disappearing into vagina's and arses as their tongues filled each other's mouth.
But Alex didn't orgasm until Alice's head was back between her open legs, her mouth and fingers working Alex to a couple of little spurts. Alex reciprocated and had to smile: Alice spurted like she had just been hard fucked by a football team at half-time. She kicked, groaned, panted and moaned as she convulsed under Alex's delicious assault, grabbing up the sheets with both hands and cussing like a drunken sailor. Alex also discovered that young Alice loved having her bum hole licked out by another woman and with Alex fisting her hard at the same time; Alice really did explode and collapsed on the bed, shaking and crying. The pair embraced and lay together under the sheets, kissing and whispering until both fell into a deep sleep until morning: they missed the fun unfolding in the kitchen....
Dave ran through the kitchen, still screaming, followed by the dog man still growling, who was followed by James and Jericho still cursing. Jericho stopped by the big cooker and rubbed his chin, speaking to himself, “Hold on Jericho old boy, you can’t do anything with a poltergeist except, perhaps let him tear you apart. I think I’ll leave this to James, he really doesn’t need my help.” Now a lot happier he turned and found the little demon squatting on the kitchen table taking a dump. The smell was awful. [Well, it wouldn’t smell of roses, would it? He is a fucking demon after all.] “Hi Jericho, what’s going on? That Arthur is one mad son of a bitch and believe me, I’ve met a few in my time.”
Jericho held a hand over his nose and spoke through his fingers, “Hi Gaps, did that mad bastard kill the old man? If he did, it would make this whole fucking mess easier.” Gaps giggled and eased from the table, admiring the pile of steaming turds he had deposited. “Yeah, I had possessed that lovely mechanical doll and saw it all. The crazy bastard battered him with the writing block from the damn doll. Was in quite a frenzy and didn’t even notice me. He’s really powerful now after brooding in deep anger for nearly half a century. But should you ask, no collector appeared, the old bastard [Jerome Albright] had already sold his soul to my master. Quite a sack of shit all this, don’t you agree?”
Jericho
nodded, trying not to take a deep breath. Well, that had solved one mystery about
the old man’s death. How the killer didn’t get in the room, poltergeists can’t
be stopped by locked doors. Then he thought again, well, it solved two mystery’s
actually, no soul collected because he had already sold it to the Dark Side. Now
Jericho was a happy man, turning to see Dave run screaming past him and
straight into Owen and Divij as they came through the door, holding their noses
and swearing loudly.
The mad poltergeist dog man leapt on the table and collided with the pile of shit, and really screamed himself this time. James was behind him, stopping suddenly and groaning loudly, “Gaps, you dirty bastard!” was all he managed to gasp out, holding his nose. But being a professional, he grabbed hold of Arthur, the shit covered poltergeist and dragged him away, vanishing in a blinding flash of light. Jericho heaved a sigh of relief and turned to Gaps who was now pissing in the vegetable basket, “You off now Gaps, or do I have to call a Guardian?” The little demon giggled, “Thank you Jericho, I’ll take my leave now. Perhaps see you and your friends again.” He did a backward flip and was gone. Jericho waved his hand about, “For fuck sake, someone clean this bloody mess up!” Strangely enough there was no rush of volunteers for that little task.
Owen, wearing a hankie with some of Alex’s perfume sprinkled on it, was scrubbing the kitchen table with bleach and muttering under his breath about why it was always the fucking trainee that got the shit jobs, and in this particular case, it literally was a shit job. He didn’t waste time on the basket, he threw the whole thing into the dustbin and pulled off his rubber gloves, still cursing his luck. Divij stuck his head around the kitchen door and smiled, “Dave is back in bed and I’m sure he won’t tell anyone about his bizarre nightmare. Are you doing breakfast this morning?”
Owen just stared at him, hands on hips and was about to say something when discretion got the better part of Divij and he slowly closed the kitchen door, adding, “I’ll ask later.”
8. CROTCHLEE HOUSE, NORTH TURNING, YORKSHIRE, 22ND November 1963. [PART 2]
Alexander ‘Alligator’ Grimwade rapped hard on the door, and it was opened by a smiling Alex. He removed his hat and presented his card saying, “Good morning, Miss Albright, may I first offer my sincere sympathy….” Alex stopped him full flow and shouted up the stairs, “Alice! Mr. Grimwade is here about the bloody old toys!” She turned back and invited the confused man in. He was about fifty with a mop of grey hair and dark blue eyes, Alexander was slightly built, yet took no exercise and ate like a pig. He really smiled at Alex, he also loved women, any size, age or colour, it didn’t matter as long as they were a woman. They came a close second to his absolute passion: old toys, as Alex put it. She showed him into the lounge where a very nervous Dave was sitting quietly, considering if he should see a shrink, next time he was in York. His bad dreams, no bloody nightmares, had given him food for thought and that thought was: he was losing his marbles. He gripped his coffee cup and just smiled
Alexander stared at him and nodded. Dave just grinned and asked him if he had ever had a dream about a knight beating up a bear who was wearing a straw hat? Alexander slowly shook his head and Dave also asked about if he dreamed of a rabid little man who thought and behaved like a dog, chasing him around a house, naked and covered in shit? Alexander now didn’t smile and whispered to Alex, “Is Miss Albright around, my Rover just made it here and it was a confirmed appointment….” His unfinished question was answered by Alice who strolled in and shook his hand, smiling broadly. “Take a look at my great Uncles pile of crappy toys and make me a decent offer Mr. Grimwade. I open to anything reasonable. You see, they give me nightmares. Have you ever dreamed about stone-age men dressed as bears, following you around?” He shook his head and wanted to head for the front door, quickly. She folded her arms, “What about poltergeists wrecking your bedroom, throwing your damn knickers everywhere and shitting on the kitchen table, I dreamed it all you know. Well at least I think I did.”
Mr. Grimwade cleared his throat and said quietly, “May I see your late uncles collection Miss Albright.” Alice nodded and gestured to Alex, “My dear friend will take you Mr. Grimwade, for some reason, I think, I’ll piss myself if I go near that bloody workshop ever again. Thank you.” A confused and nervous Mr. Grimwade followed Alex, saying quietly, “I take it Miss Albright is still upset about losing her dear uncle?” Alex just shrugged her shoulders, “No, I think what really pissed her off is inheriting a haunted house, nearly getting killed in the snow and having nightmares about a mad poltergeist who thought he was a dog.” Mr. Grimwade just smiled and thought about the front door, again.
“I
would love to see your shop Mr. Grimwade, I bet it’s full of wonderful old
toys.” Alex said as they crossed the yard and now Mr. Grimwade smiled, “Please
visit any time you wish Miss, I think you would love to see my private
collection. I allow few people to see or handle my private stock.” Alex looked
him up and down and they both laughed as she opened the door. She whispered
under her breath, “I bet you are a dirty old toymaker, and I can’t wait to see
your private stock. I bet it’s good for a real laugh. I think Owen or Jackie
would love to see it too.”
He walked around the workshop and nodded several times, agreeing to purchase everything for two hundred pounds. Alex knew that was a good offer and very fair. She also knew that Alice would probably have accepted half that, just to get rid of them. But Mr. Grimwade insisted that he have the ‘Sophie’ Automaton at once, [he had already seen it in the lounge] he would arrange a heavy lorry for this very afternoon. Alex told him that he may as well take everything, Alice would trust his cheque and him: she wouldn’t wait for it to clear. He was a little surprised by that, but very happy, very happy indeed that someone trusted him. As it should be, he thought, I’ve been in business for years around here and my word was always my bond. They walked back to the house together, talking – of course – about toys. Alex readily accepted his invitation to visit his establishment and - especially - view his erotic Victorian and Edwardian collection.
Alice and Dave stood in silence by the radio as the announcer – in quite a sombre voice – announced the death of US President John Kennedy, assassinated in Houston, Texas, that lunchtime. Apparently shot by a lone assassin. A certain Lee Harvey Oswald. He kept repeating that details of the shooting were still coming in. Alice – her hands trembling a little – grabbed the single sheet of paper from the bureau and the pair re-read the message that ‘Sophie’ the automation had written yesterday.
Finally, Dave managed to mutter; “Oh, fucking hell! How the hell did a bloody old Victorian clockwork machine know that would happen?...I mean….that’s fucking impossible….isn’t it? The man has three damn names, but the machine said he didn’t do the killing…..they did, whoever they are.” Alice had to sit down, still clutching the paper. “No-one will believe us, bloody no-one! They’ll say we cooked it up for some reason…get publicity or something. The papers would crucify us as some kind of attention seeking nuts!” Dave had to agree with her and pulled a whisky bottle and two glasses from the drinks cabinet. He poured into both glasses and handed one to Alice.
Alice
took a sip, “His heir would be the vice-president, wouldn’t it?” Dave nodded
slowly and took a gulp of whisky which made him cough. There was silence and Dave
said quietly; “It’s telling us that the fucking Vice-President was behind it!”
Alice now nodded and sipped her whisky again. “And we are not about to shout
that out loud for heaven’s sake!”
That’s when the phone rang and Alice slowly walked over and answered it, she already knew who it was: Jeanie. It was. She was almost babbling down the phone and Alice had to calm her before she really could understand what was happening. She was in the café, using their phone: her car [a Morris Minor] had given up the ghost and refused to travel any further in the snow, so she would arrive when her ‘lift’ turned up. Apparently, a nice local farmer called Tom, who had a vehicle that the snow couldn’t stop, was in the diner and volunteered to drop her off. Jeanie did point out [girls talk!] that he was a very handsome, fit young man. That just made Alice sigh and she muttered, “Oh Jeanie, give it a rest, I’m bloody sure your turning into a nymphomaniac, you fancy anything in trousers who smiles at you!” But Alice was happy and relieved that her wayward friend was on her way. Jeanie was quite a handful – where men were concerned – but she had a kind generous nature and was a very loyal friend to those she loved. She fancied Dave but held back because she didn’t want to ruin their friendship, as she explained to a very amused Alice: “I can get lovers by the score – If I want – but real true friends are bloody hard to find!”
Alice replaced the receiver and told Dave to expect Jeanie shortly. He smiled, “You don’t think she’ll come galloping up on some bloody horse like that copper did?” Alice just laughed and shrugged her shoulders, “With our Jeanie, anything is possible.”
Then the subject of the second sheet of paper written by ‘Sophie’ came up. Do they tell anyone about it? The unanimous decision was to keep silent. They certainly didn’t want the unwelcome attention of the press or TV. Besides they no idea to who the message referred to!
Jeanie arrived in some style: sitting in the cab of a tractor with her bags and baggage. Her car had become hopelessly stuck at the Doncaster crossroads and a nice young farmer had cut across his fields to her rescue. The two girls hugged with some affection and relief. Jeanie accepted a whisky from Dave as did the young farmer who was called Thomas. He introduced himself because he was one of Alice’s nearest neighbours. His farmhouse was six miles down Cemetery Road and like Crotchlee house, on the edge of Hobbs Moor.
They all stood in the living room and the main topic of conversation was the murder of President Kennedy by Lee Harvey Oswald. Alice and Dave exchanged a nervous glance and sipped their drinks. Then the young man spotted ‘Sophie’, now placed by the big bay window, awaiting collection. “I saw one of these at Leeds Agricultural show when I was a kid. They’re great, you just drop in a penny, and it tells your fortune. I must have a go.” Alice was about to say that’s it’s broken but Jeanie smiled at the young man and said it was the least they could do for all his help. Tom produced a penny and pushed it into ‘Sophie’s’ slot. For some reason Alice felt a shiver run down her spine as the machine came to life.
Sophie’s head turned and looked straight at Alice which made her actually tremble. The hand clutching the quill pencil started to move. Tom chuckled; “I know it’s daft, probably tell me I’ll be rich and blooming famous.” They all watched as the hand moved across the page slowly, and the letters appeared. Then Sophie stopped and Tom picked up the paper. He rubbed his chin, “Don’t know what any of this means, poor thing must be broken.”
Jeanie took the paper and read it out; “THE DEAD ARE HERE. WATCH FOR BEAUTY. CLOCKS ARE TICKING.” She lowered the paper and shrugged her shoulders; “I think your right Tom, the poor old thing is broken, that doesn’t make sense.” Alice finished her whisky and poured herself another, then topped up Dave’s glass. Tom turned down a refill and said his goodbyes with Jeanie showing him out. She watched the tractor pull away and gave it a little wave of gratitude. They all sat in the living room in silence apart from the big grandfather clock’s quiet ticking. Finally Alice heaved a big sigh and said softly, “I think we should tell the professor [Jericho] about this. After all, he’s an expert in strange stuff like this.” Dave and Jeanie agreed, and Alice headed to the bottom of the stairs and shouted up for Jericho.
He and Divij read the new message twice and exchanged glances, Gaps the mischievous little demon was gone and it certainly wasn’t the loony poltergeist, he was now sitting in quarantine. Divij discretely managed to scan ‘Sophie’ with his mirror and grunted in disappointment. “Sod all.” Was all he said, and Jericho rubbed his chin in surprise. The first two messages about the death of President Kennedy and the fire in the old peoples home in America were obviously written by Gaps. But this one had to be produced by the machine itself. He shrugged his shoulders, life was a mystery sometimes. But he needed to placate Dave and Alice about the messages.
That’s when Alex and Mr. Grimwade joined them, and he was not surprised to find the obviously nutty young man and the strange Miss Albright drinking whisky at this time of the morning! He was introduced to Divij and Jericho and saw the note that his machine [now] had written. He took it and placed his glasses on, then sighed, “Ah, she’s a ’morbid automaton’, they were popular in late Victorian times, especially after a loss in the family. The surviving family would drop pennies in, hoping to hear something about their recently deceased. All hokum of course, the messages were deliberately cryptic to cover all sorts of mourning. You know, bring some comfort to the family without being specific. I have actually seen this very note before, written by an automaton at Doncaster fair some years ago. You see this bit, ‘the dead are here’ is supposed to comfort the newly bereaved, make them feel that their loved one is close and watching over them. ‘Watch for beauty’ is about heaven and the ‘clocks are ticking’ is reminding the bereaved that time heals everything.” He handed it back to Jericho and smiled.
Alice and Dave’s sigh of relief was very loud, and Alice quickly handed Mr. Grimwade the other two notes, both babbling about predicting Kennedy’s death and the other one they couldn’t understand. He took them and read quietly, slowly smiling. “Just more funeral stuff really and nothing whatsoever to do with poor President Kennedy I believe. I think it’s about President Lincoln in some part. The reference to three names not doing the killing is about Confederate President Jefferson Finis Davis not being responsible for a lone assassin. Very important distinction at the time. Lincoln’s heir was vice-president Andrew Johnson who was actually impeached when he was President. ‘They’ probably were the people who went after him. ‘On the morrow’ is often used in these messages, indicating better times to come.” He handed the note to a very relieved Alice, who offered him a whisky. He just smiled and said quietly, “Not before breakfast, thank you.”
Her and Alex showed him out, followed by a happy Dave. Jericho folded his arms and didn’t smile, “What a pile of old flannel, but at least they believed it. That man, I believe, could sell snow to Eskimos.” Divij agreed with him and chuckled, then asked what the hell did the message really mean. Jericho sighed, “Someone is trying to warn Alice about her re-scheduled death tomorrow, ‘the dead are here’ refers to us, and ‘watch for the beauty’ is a direct reference to Alex, who will ensure that she meets her dispatch [Alice’s] and ‘clocks are ticking’ warns Alice that she’s running out of time. So someone knows our plans and that could only mean someone who has passed over and probably hasn’t been collected…..” he stopped talking when Owen stuck his head around the door and announced breakfast, holding up his mirror, “Anyone else getting this?”
He watched – still smiling – as the woman lifted the small chair by the large wardrobe and threw it effortlessly through the window. Glass and wood flew everywhere, and snow now fluttered in, pushed by a stiff breeze. The cold snapped on Dave’s rational brain, and he didn’t smile anymore as the woman grabbed his whisky bottle and smashed it against the opposite wall, shouting, “You must warn her!”
10. THE TOYMAKER....AND HIS TOYS!
Leaving Tony and Alice to shop, Alex and Owen headed for the toymakers workshop with a stop in the 'Queen's Head' pub for Owen to transform into Jackie in the toilets. Now both ladies headed into Mr. Grimwade's toy emporium and were welcomed warmly with a glass of whisky each. The shop was packed - floor to ceiling - with toys, but Mr. Grimwade locked the front doors and placed the 'closed' notice in the window. They followed him through the shop into the back and found a different world of toys: adult toys!
There were full sized sex dummies who were well equipped to please either sex, you could chose between 'inflatables' that - thoughtfully - came with their own bicycle pump or more solid creations which were like shop mannequins with extra 'naughty bits'. Jackie had to stare at one 'male' doll that had a penis which could be filled with water and it swelled to huge proportions and stood up: all by itself. Alex also showed a real interest in that one.....
The female dolls weren't that pretty but they all came fully equipped with useable mouths, vagina's and arses. With some pride, 'Alligator' presented his 'world famous dildo collection' [how he knew this fact was kept to himself....] which consisted of of two large cabinets stuffed with every conceivable type of artificial penis, anus stimulator or vaginal vibrator that man's [or woman's] fertile and maybe warped, imagination could come up with.
Alex turned the strange dildo in her hands: it consisted of five tightly packed heads of different shapes and sizes protruding from a circular body that had two hand grips. There was a neat wooden handle which when turned rapidly, spun the heads and made them push forward and backwards in sperate actions. 'Alligator' took it and held it with one hand while turning the handle. "You should try this Miss Alex, with a little adjustment to the heads depth, you can have two or three in your vagina and one in your bum. Turn the handle and hey presto! Orgasms on demand."
With a big smile, he added; "It's self lubricating too. One of my best sellers." Alex smiled at him and then at Jackie who was slapping a huge black rubber dildo against the wall. "Christ, you could use this bugger in the Colosseum to beat elephants to death!" she muttered. Alex unzipped her skirt and let it drop, revealing her red stockings and panties. "You going to play darling?" She asked Jackie, pulling off her jumper and unbuttoning her blouse. Mr. Grimwade started to grin as Jackie began removing her clothes too. Soon both ladies were standing in just their stockings and shoes. 'Alligator' really smiled at Jackie and picked up a large flexible dildo that came complete with balls. "You'll love this, when you want to finish squeeze the balls and it spurts." Jackie took it immediately and 'Alligator' was more that happy to assist Alex in playing with her toy. She sat on a nearby chair, legs up and open while he knelt before her and operated the five headed dildo in her fanny and arse. To her surprise, she was squirming and moaning within a few minutes, realising that 'Alligator' was - indeed - a master craftsman of perverted toys!
She had a couple of small but wonderful orgasms and had to smile at Jackie who was astride the male doll with it's big water filled cock right up her arse. She was bouncing up and down, groaning a little with her cock doing a 'helicopter'. Now that really drew 'Alligators' interest as he worked Alex's crotch and arse with his wonderful machine. After a few minutes, 'Alligator' continued the tour with his two, now very horny and aroused, guests. They stopped before a canvas draped figure and Mr. Grimwade pulled the cover off with a flourish.
Alex and Jackie stared at the 'toy' and then stared at each other. 'Alligator' smiled broadly, "One of the gems of my erotic collection and I call him Xerxes after the great Persian King, who enjoyed likening himself to a bull. I have sold five of these at seventy pounds each in just a few months. It's like those 'bronco bull' machines you find in America except you ride it by hanging underneath with your legs in the stirrups and holding onto the belt about it's neck." He walked over and slowly rummaged in his pockets, then asked if anyone had a sixpence. He shrugged his shoulders, "You need a six-penny piece to start the damn mechanism I'm afraid. But you can use it to save for Christmas!"
He patted the mechanical beast; "In certain ancient cultures like Egypt, Babylon and Sumeria the culture of the Bull flourished since it was a potent sign of fertility. In ancient Egypt he was called the God Apis and his temples had Priest's and Priestess's. It's believed that during certain celebrations the women priests would have sex with the living bull that was kept to please the God Apis. They certainly weren't prudes in those days now were they!"
Jackie ran her hands over the fur and found it was genuine buffalo hide, then saw the big dildo hanging between it legs. She grinned at a very curious Alex, "I think you should try it darling...it has to be worth a tanner [slang for a sixpence coin] just to experience it." Alex peered into her purse and shook her head, "I only have some penny's, shillings and two half crowns." Mr. Grimwade smiled, "Push in a shilling my dear: it will go through it's cycle twice!"
Alex slowly handed Jackie a shilling coin as Mr. Grimwade rubbed his hands and plunged his hand into the small canvas sack hanging around the bulls neck. He produced a jar of Vaseline with some flourish: like a magician dragging a rabbit from his top hat. Alex held up a similar jar - pulled from her handbag - and said "Snap!" Everyone laughed at that. But she certainly needed the magic potion when the bloody thing got going. Alex groaned loudly, swinging beneath the fast thrusting machine with her feet in the stirrups and her hands clutching tightly the rope hanging from the collar. The well lubricated dildo was plunging in and out of her gaping fanny at some speed and depth. She could already feel the first big orgasm putting in an appearance and it came with total body shudders and cussing loudly; very loudly. When the machine came to a stop, Mr. Grimwade held up another shilling but Alex shook her head: two cycles of this bloody incredible fuck machine was enough for her.
Jackie helped her from the machine and she walked slowly and awkwardly from it, wiping a few tears away. Her fanny felt like it had gone three rounds with a road hammer on crack cocaine! But she was still horny and up for more fun. That delighted old 'Alligator' and he continued the tour of his workshops.
As they carried on their unusual guide of the 'toys', Jackie glanced at Xerxes and whispered to the still panting Alex, "I know it's just a bloody mechanical sex toy but...well, I'd swear that the bugger was grinning!" Both chuckled together until 'Alligator' pulled an old canvas sheet from an object and smiled broadly. They gathered around the strange creation and Jackie stared hard at it and a little puzzled asked 'Alligator': "What the hell is it?" Mr. Grimwade reached down and started to turn the wheel which protruded from the rear of the machine. "It's called Salty the Sexopuss!" Both girls were now open mouthed as it's arms thrusted back and forth: each tipped with a wicked looking large dildo. Some had nobly protrusion's and blunt spikes, while other's were plain or had bulbous ends.
Alice turned on the radio and sat at the breakfast table and slowly dipped her spoon into her cornflakes and milk. The news came on, still full of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy the previous day and the shocking reports of a terrible fire at The Golden Age Nursing Home which took place soon after 4:45 am on November 23, 1963, a mile north of Fitchville, Ohio, United States, killing 63 residents. It stated that many of the victims had been restrained in their beds and couldn’t escape. Her spoon slipped from her fingers and splashed milk and cornflakes everywhere, as it hit the bowel.
She whispered to herself, “A GOLDEN AGE ENDS IN FLAMES. TIED DOWN. SEVEN SCORE LESS SEVEN GONE.” Alice just sat staring at the radio as it announced that the severe weather in the north of the country would ease greatly in the next few days. She rose from the table and headed upstairs, knowing that Mr. Grimwade’s translation of the notes was utter bollocks! Then she thought about the latest note: “THE DEAD ARE HERE. WATCH FOR BEAUTY. CLOCKS ARE TICKING.” Having reached her bedroom she sat on the bed and pulled a thick cardigan on, for some reason she suddenly felt terribly cold. She sat and thought hard about the actual construction of the predictions the machine had produced. After a couple of minutes, she shuddered and fought back tears, an overwhelming feeling of doom had flooded over her. Alice believed that she was the ‘beauty’ and that ‘death’ awaited her, with the time to that demise just hours and minutes away. She wrapped her arms around herself and sobbed, wiping her face with the sleeves of the big woollen cardigan. Then a desperate plan came into her troubled head; maybe it was because she had inherited the haunted house, or maybe because she was a blood relative of old Jerome who had a nasty, almost evil reputation. No-one in her immediate family liked him.
“Did your mirror tell you what sex the soul had
been when alive?” Owen nodded and reluctantly lowered his knife and fork, “Yeah,
full details from Human records, A Carol Armstrong who died a couple of years ago,
the body was pulled from the ponds on this very estate. Killed herself because she
was dying of cancer I suppose. Couldn’t stand the pain I expect. Painkillers in
this time aren’t up too much.” He whispered and returned to his breakfast with
real determination.
“I think she wants to speak to us, I think she
knows who we are.” Alex said and the team made their way over to the sad
looking spirit who folded her arms. Jericho sighed, she was very pretty and felt
really sad that her young life had ended in such tragedy. He told Divij to call
Collections and have a good collector sent, and actually ask for Herbie, if he
was free.
The party was arranged for the following day at Tony's place: he and Owen provided the drinks [alcohol] and Alice and Alex made some sandwiches and opened a couple bags of 'Golden Wonder' Cheese & Onion crisps. They laid everything out on the small side board with Alice's little record player. Then the foursome went to the 'Lord Nelson' pub in the village were they played the new 'Juke-Box' and got to know each other. Just after ten o'clock they headed for Tony's modest terraced house and as he opened the front door with his key, Alex made everyone laugh by waving a jar of Vaseline about saying 'this was even more lubrication and will prove better than bleeding alcohol!' None of the happy party had noticed Tony's barbed comments about Owen appearing; he wanted 'Jackie' to attend the party, not realising that both were the same person. But the party still went ahead.
The warm up was the girls doing a little strip tease in front of the fire, in Tony's front room, while 'Be my baby' by the Ronette's was playing on the small record player on the sideboard that held the alcohol and nibbles for this impromptu and very dirty little party. Alex and Alice basically undressed each other right down to there matching black stockings and suspenders, deliberately slowing right down to remove their bra's and finally their panties. Alex eased Alice's knickers down and they dropped to her [Alice's] ankle's and she kicked them away. The boys cheered as Alex knelt and kissed Alice's belly and thighs, lingering on her shaved vagina for some minutes; the slurping sounds becoming loud when the record finished! Then Alice did the same with Alex's panties and also knelt, immediately fixing on Alex's fanny with fingers and tongue: she was a very noisy eater!
They now really warmed each other up and basically started the party proper by happily sexually performing on the big fluffy rug, in front of that fire The girls had kept on their black suspenders and stockings along with their matching black high heels on because Tony had 'thing' about high heel shoes. Owen thought there was nothing wrong with that: his 'Alta-ego' Jackie constantly wore them! He and Tony sat on the small sofa - naked apart from their socks [it was a bitterly cold winter's day!] - drinking 'Newcastle Brown Ale' in large 'pint' glasses; cheering the girls on with shouts of encouragement and sometimes, suggestions where tongues and fingers should go next.
Both men declared that 'the sixty-nine' position for the girls was their favourite position and Alex soon had Alice on top of her, legs wide open with Alice thoroughly enjoying her gaping vagina, using both tongue and fingers to enjoy what was on offer. Laying beneath her, Alex was reciprocating in kind and soon had Alice's cunt flooding as her [Alex's] expert probing hit home. Alice had quite an orgasm which made her body tremble and caused her to cuss like a Liverpool docker, shedding a few tears of lust, relief and joy. She was quickly joined by Alex having her own little orgasm below; her legs twitched and her face contorted, cussing a little under her breath.
Alice rolled off and groaned loudly, both hands between her legs, rubbing hard. "For fuck sake! Come on boys, I'm dying for a bleeding good hard fuck!" Owen grinned and slapped Tony's arm; "Come on, I think we're on!" They jumped to their feet and the girls could see they were ready for action: both were gripping erections.
Alex sat up on her elbows and smiled, legs wide open, and waved a hand loosely in the air; "All aboard for some bum love!" and quickly turned over, pushing her gorgeous peach shaped arse into the air. Tony was there in an instant, making Owen mutter; "Jesus, it was like bloody Speedy Gonzales on steroids!" Tony also lost no time mounting Alex, pushing his cock in with some urgency which made Alex whimper a little and tell him 'it wasn't a fucking race!' followed by [a little angrily] 'Good job one of us remembered the fucking lubrication!' Tony didn't seem to hear Alex's complaint and started to thrust, gripping her around the waist with one arm whilst his other hand massaged her gaping wet fanny; the fingers probing deep. Alex gripped the rug with her fingers and cussed a little as Tony buried his cock deep in her back passage: she was really feeling every inch as he pushed in and withdrew a little each time. "Your fucking arse is heaven here on earth!" he managed to groan between thrusts and glanced over to Alice, who was on her knees, her mouth full of Owen's big cock and was sucking hard and deep and really enjoying it.
Owen ran his hands over her bobbing head and asked if she was ready for some 'bum love' too. Still sucking like an industrial strength vacuum cleaner, she gave the 'thumbs up' with both hands and that made him and Alex chuckle. "That's my girl!" Alex said and groaned again as Tony drove his cock hard into her bum hole, thrusting like it was his last ten minutes on God's earth. Neither Alex or Owen had noticed there was no approval from Tony who wiped sweat from his forehead and stared at Owen with a little anger on his face that he now couldn't contain. He snapped when Alice knelt down, hands flat to the floor with her tight pale arse in the air as Owen gripped her buttocks with one hand while his other guided his well sucked [and now lubricated] cock into her tight little brown hole. She groaned loudly and threw her head back, telling him to 'fuck her like a cheap Saturday night whore up the fucking shit box!' The shock of those words from that sweet young woman made Tony spurt his load right up Alex's bum hole! He groaned and really did cuss, slapping Alex's bum cheeks hard - as if she was too blame for his premature finish - then pushed Alex away and stood, actually swaying a little with some kind of strange anger. "NO! NO fucking way!" He shouted and shoved Owen hard causing him and Alice to separate and fall on the floor. He stood over Owen with both fists clenched and threatened to 'do him up'. Alex had already rapidly crawled to her handbag and quickly pulled out her mirror. Tony now had Owen by throat with one hand and his other: a raised fist. Alice was screaming for him to stop but jealous anger had totally possessed the man.
Alex stopped time and Owen wriggled free from his grip and stood, taking a couple of deep breaths; "Fucking well done Alex! I thought the mad bastard was about to reshape my lovely face!" Alex just nodded, saying quietly; "Grabb your clothes, we're out of here." Then she grimaced and snatched up Alice's knickers to wipe her butt hole which was now leaking like a broken tap. "Crazy mad bastard." she muttered, dressing quickly and when Owen was ready the pair operated their mirrors and were gone.
Back at the lighthouse the pair relaxed in Alex's deep tub and finally manged to laugh about what happened, skipping over the awful part that could have actually taken place if Alex hadn't used her mirror. Owen splashed hot water over his face and smiled a little; "Did you hear that Angel Margret has summoned Jericho about what happened on that bloody mission, I mean with Alice and 'I'm a mad jealous bastard' Tony. I think our intrepid leader will have some difficult questions to answer!" Alex nodded, easing the soft flannel between the cheeks of her abused bum; "He'll bloody survive; he always does. If the angel had been human I would swear that she fancies the bugger." That made Owen laugh and he settled back to soak until Alex started playing with his feet, then worked her way up to his now stiffing cock. He groaned and sighed; "I'm sure you are a bloody nymphomaniac my girl, but you won't find me complaining...." He fell silent as Alex's pushed his erection into her eager, cock hungry mouth, sucking hard. He patted her head and wondered what was for dinner tonight.
Jericho sat outside the angel’s office and sighed. He didn’t regret his decision, it felt good, the ‘right call’ as Owen put it. But now the angel wanted explanations before she approved [or didn’t!] the minor changes to the current human timeline. And she wanted them from her Inspector: Jericho Tibbs. Mr. Colgate - the angel’s private secretary - appeared in the doorway and gestured Jericho in: he was smiling [Jericho noted that for Mr. Colgate wasn’t well known for his happy demeanour] “Herself will see you now Inspector.” He said as Jericho slipped past the tall, dignified man in the doorway, Mr. Colgate whispered, “Very well done Inspector. A truly lovely gesture appreciated by a great deal of the angels staff, I can tell you.”
Anthony ‘Tony’ Armstrong [the policeman] should never have become so involved with Alice Albright and her with him. The meeting in the house after Alice’s death in the car accident should never have taken place – obviously! – but it did, and the pair became lovers. Jericho argued with angel Margret that Alice should be allowed to live on, since the team had changed her fate by their need of her in the house for the mission. The angel finally agreed, and their pair married in 1964 and were happily married for forty-one years and had four children. Tony died in 2005 and his soul was collected and processed.
Doris Fuller [café waitress] worked for her aunt Martha [who the café was named after] and spent most of her adult life in the place. She never married and died in 1976 from complications of Type 1 diabetes, her soul was collected and processed.
Jerome Albright [the late great-uncle] was brutally killed by the evil poltergeist because he wouldn’t leave the house [very rare attack it should be noted!] But no soul was collected as he was a follower of the Dark Prince and belonged to the witches Coven that had infested the village of North Turning for centuries. [See episode: ‘The Priest’. An episode from 'The Temporal Detectives' series: Book/Series 3 - Episode 3.] It’s understood that he’s now a Tier Three demon himself.
David ‘Dave’ Sellers [friend] was tragically killed in 1966 when the small fishing boat he was using on a Scottish Loch, suddenly overturned and he was trapped beneath it, as it sank. He was due to marry and so he had no children by his grieving fiancé. She never married but had a son by her long-term lover [who was married anyway] and the boy was called David. Dave’s soul was collected and processed.
Jenifer ‘Jeanie’ Newbury [friend] married three times and had four children by her various husbands. She had been seriously influenced by the ‘swinging sixties’ and embraced the drug culture, prevalent at the time, fully. Sadly she died of a heroin overdose in 1979, alone in a Manchester ‘squat’ after being thrown out by her estranged third husband who was granted custody of the children. Her soul was collected and processed. It received fifty years in quarantine for the death of her first daughter, who she accidently suffocated whilst high on drugs. She had escaped human justice on that occasion but couldn’t escape divine justice.
Robert Myles [the dead vagrant] lived in a ramshackle hut by the roadside and had done so for some years, but never dreamed that this winter would be so bad. Being an ex-sailor, he knew he was freezing slowly to death and headed out to the road, planning to beg for help and be taken into town. Maybe the priest would let him sleep in the church until the weather cleared up. Soon as he saw Alice’s car, he tried to stop her, but Alice wasn’t paying attention to the road and knocked him down. His body caught underneath the car and Alice was now lying dead at the wheel. She wasn’t wearing a seat belt [they were not compulsory in 1963] her head having slammed against the windscreen so hard, that it cracked [that's both her head and the windscreen.] Robert’s soul was collected and processed. Strangely enough, he told the angel that he felt no anger towards the young woman for his demise. Now that gave angel Margret a rare smile.
‘Sophie’ the automaton/Xerxes the bull/Gaps the demon who possessed the machines for a ‘little mischief’ witnessed the brutal killing of a fellow follower of his master the Dark Prince. He reported it back to his masters and when James confronted him was quite co-operative and gave no trouble. He was allowed to return to his master, and it’s suspected that this almost harmless, naughty little demon is playing tricks on humans again, this time at a Military Academy in Russia! He appears to be quite a favourite of the Dark Prince, who – apparently – finds his antic’s hilarious.
Susan Shaw-Davies [the ghost] had cheated with their neighbour on a very jealous and unhinged husband, who – after a drinking bout – extracted a terrible revenge and battered the woman with a spade from the gardeners shed, then finished the job by strangling her. When the collector arrived, the soul ran from the room in search of her son, William. So her soul was not collected and the collector – Yoki – called it in. Thankfully, some thirty years after the dreadful event, Susan’s soul was finally collected and processed. She re-joined the human lifecycle immediately.
William Arthur Shaw-Davies [the child ghost] had been brutally strangled to death by his father, who was so enraged and drunk, he now believed he wasn’t even the boy’s father. Like his mother, the boy ran from the collector, to find his mother. They remained together in the house, trying desperately to avoid the madman who had now transformed into a classical poltergeist. Reunited, they went to the light with James and Herbie. The boy jumped immediately into a new – and hopefully much better – life.
Arthur Reginald Shaw-Davies [the poltergeist] prowled the house growing more powerful and malignant with every year he brooded. He drove away two families who attempted to live in the old house with his nocturnal activities and finally, when old Jerome Albright simply wouldn’t leave, the poltergeist exploded with evil energy and battered the old man to death. There was a witness to the killing, ‘Gaps’ the mischievous demon who had been playing harmless tricks on Albright [such as making his bed!] The killing bought temporal detectives on scene since Albright’s soul wasn’t collected. The poltergeist was driven out by James and faced the Duty Death Angel who assigned him two hundred human years in quarantine for the killings. He re-joined the human lifecycle in 2133AD.
Thomas Edward Stirling [young farmer] had worked the family farm since he was a boy. The farm had been in the Stirling family for four generations and Tom took good care of his inheritance. Despite being only 22, he already had two children with his wife Sally: they would end up with six! A big gentle man who had a simple outlook on life and loved working the land. He was to die in the house he was born in, succumbing to liver cancer at the age of 59. His wife and two eldest daughters nursed him themselves and the family were thrown into deep grief and mourning when he died in 2000. His soul was collected and processed. His eldest son – Peter – now runs the farm with the same passion that his late father did. Thomas had trained the boy well and now the fifth generation of the family took well care of the land and animals: as all humans should, but many don’t.
Alexander ‘Alligator’ Grimwade [the toymaker] had a passion for Victorian and Edwardian mechanical toys and curiosities. He also had – hidden until his death – the finest collection of rare antique sex aids! They now form the core of an exhibition of human sexual behaviour in Stockholm, Sweden. He would have loved that! He died in his sleep in 1975 cuddling a large teddy bear who was really well [and very naughtily] equipped [made in 1885 in Italy] and his soul was collected and processed. Apparently, and quite unusually, the angel had a long chat with Alexander, seemingly fascinated by the sheer ingenuity of human sexual behaviour! [angels have never been human should you wonder.] Out of interest, he gained the nickname ‘alligator’ by receiving a suspended sentence and £10 fine for exhibiting replica ancient Egyptian condoms in his shop in 1959. They were considered obscene at the time. The originals were made from the tongues of dead Nile crocodiles, but his friends couldn’t tell an alligator from a bloody crocodile at the time, otherwise his nickname would have been ‘Crocodile Grimwade’. Doesn’t quite have the same ring about it, does it?
Carol Armstrong [lost soul, suicide] took her own life, suffering from terminal Breast cancer, by drowning in the ponds of Crotchlee House. She was just twenty-three and very happily married to Tony Armstrong. She hid from the collector to remain and look out for him. When she realised, he had finally found a new love, she attempted to warn Alice about her own impending death. But after speaking with Jericho Tibbs who assured her that Alice and Tony could get together, she went to the light with Herbie the Collector. In a rare decision, angel Margret didn’t quarantine her for her suicide and Carol re-joined the current human timeline immediately.
Michael John Catlin [Tony's friend] worked construction: he was a roofer and suffered a terrible accident in autumn 1966 and watched the World Cup from his hospital bed. His injuries were severe and he remained paralysed and residing in a hospice until his death in 1971. He had never married; his girlfriend left him within weeks of the dreadful accident for another man. His soul was collected and processed.
Stephen 'Steve' Worthing [Tony's friend] was married at the time of this mission but was soon divorced after his wife found him with the woman who ran the local sub-post office. He was to marry another three times and had five children by his assorted wives. Steve was a very talented writer who wrote copy [on a free-lance basis] for various advertising agencies. He was temping at an agency in Manchester in Spring of 1982 when he suffered a major stroke and died in the ambulance on the way to hospital. His soul was collected and processed: it was quarantined for half a human century for a frenzied rape and murder of a fourteen year old girl in Coventry, when he was a very young angry man: he was never bought to justice for that killing: but the Duty Death Angel [Francis] knew.
Harold 'Harry' Price [The coal merchant and part time removal man] had plied his trade around York and the surrounding towns and villages for years; he was well respected for honesty and reliability. His son Egbert would take over the family business in the summer of '69 after the shocking and sudden death of his father in truly mysterious circumstances. The old man's body was found several yards from his old car parked down Church Lane at three o'clock in the morning by the local milkman going to work. He had been savagely killed with several deep wounds which the local coroner couldn't assign to any known wild animal in the area and so it was decided that Harry had been murdered. No soul was collected and so either he was time-traveller or the Dark Side had stolen his soul. It was a possibility that a senior Demon may have killed him and stolen his soul. Temporal Inspector Dawn Daniels and her team are investigating: there is no resolution yet.
The little group of Stone-age hunter/gathers are still wandering around Hobbs Moor having haunted the place for nearly six thousand years after their untimely and somewhat tragic deaths from food poisoning: they had consumed the carcass of a large Boar they found rotting in the woods. They thought it would be safe after cooking but it wasn't and the group would now never return to their tribe and families: they shit and puked themselves to death on the frozen moor, their own bodies becoming rotting carcass's that disappeared into the dark soil after just a few years. They wouldn't listen to the Collectors who appeared and probably still believe they are actually alive! It is understood that a couple of Guardians will be dispatched to bring in the lost souls now that Temporal Detectives have reported their plight.
Kiri the demon managed to escape the wrath of his master, the Dark Prince, by hiding in Medieval Paris for a while. But he’s now back in business and had his straw hat repaired. Despite the sniggers and strange looks from the other senior demons, he wears it with some pride. What the Dark Prince thinks of it isn’t known…..
"For more information about the 'automatons' appearing in this episode, please view the 'WIKIPEDIA' entry HERE.
